The Good, Not Bad, and the Ugly

Posted by The Wine Whore |

There is a secret that some wine reviewers don't want you to know. This dirty little secret forces them to fail to paint the true stories about their wine affairs.

The secret: some bottles of wine are NOT good... in fact, many are down right BAD!

As the Wine Whore, I get all kinds of clients: the good, the not bad, and sometimes the REALLY bad. To kill time before this week's episode of TWWTV, I've decided to give my HONEST take on three of my wine choices this week of varying degrees of appeal. From daring and dirty, to downright disgusting... without further adieu, here is my synopsis of this week's affair.

The Good:

Harvest Moon Russian River Valley Sparkling Zinfandel 2007
Price - $30/bottle

I approached this odd sparkler with apprehension despite the fact that Harvest Moon holds a special place in my heart as the winery that broke my Wine Whore virginity. Having never had a Sparkling Zinfandel, I didn't know what to expect. It didn't take long for me to remember what drew me to my first love. I was pleasantly aroused by the floral nose. Jolly rancher, watermelon, and soft fruit wet my palate while the cleansing bubbles tickled my senses. When it was all over, the affair left me craving a cigarette and even excited to call back for an encore the next day!

The Not Bad:

Jacuzzi Family Vineyards Sangiovese Sonoma County 2006
Price - $20/bottle

Several odd shaped bottles arrived at my doorstep and for some reason, I chose this redhead first. The nose was nice and fruity but scarred by what seemed to me like a slight imbalance in acidity which came off with a hint of tartness. While soft and thin, it held on for a nice sustain on the finish without any obnoxious metallic aftertaste that tends to plague many other value wines. Overall enjoyable and a decent value for the price tag but nothing to brag to your friends about the next day.

The Ugly:

Graton Ridge RRB Sonoma County A+ Apple Dessert Wine 2007
Price - $23/bottle

This wine is perfect if I was looking for something to light a tiki torch or run a generator. If you are looking for something to actually swallow, I would not recommend this wine. Its harsh cider vapors reminded me of the cheap crappy booze I used to do shots of in high school. I tried to pour a little on some vanilla ice cream to drown out the acidic overtones and I think the ice cream actually melted in fear before I could even pour a drizzle on top. This is one of those affairs as The Wine Whore that left me feeling dirty, cheap, and used. Don't try this one at home.

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Joeshico said...

Nice review on the apple crap. I've tried several apple wines and now believe they are all the same. Cherry and Plum are OK and had a Pear wine that I actually liked, but I just stay away from grape pretenders any more.

The Wine Whore said...

Hello Joe!

I actually like some plum wines with sushi but other than that, I am with you. If it ain't grape, forget it!


Corkdork said...

Silly winery. Apples are for cider!

Which, BTW, if you see Woodchuck's fall release -- it tastes like drinking apple pie. Yum.

The Wine Whore said...

LOL! Woodchuck's apple cider is very tasty! I'll have to keep an eye our for their fall release!


tampawinewoman said...

That apple wine sounds disgusting! Thanks for taking one for the team - again!!

The Wine Whore said...

LOL! It was almost as bad as the week old Barefoot wine!

Just doing my job! :)


CopperBot said...

While visiting Palisade Colorado for a wedding a few months ago I drove my wife and two of her girlfriends around to various vineyards for wine tasting. I forget the label off-hand (will try to remember and come back later) but I enjoyed a most delicious cherry wine from one of the vineyards on our little tour. While I agree it's hard to beat the grape when it comes to wine I was pretty satisfied with this cherry imitator. I shall try to find the name and come back to you.

The Wine Whore said...

CopperBot has a good point... I guess I shouldn't rule out all fruit wines from this experience. I will say that it did definitely make me want to shy away.

Look forward to hearing the name of the cherry wine... sounds interesting!

Anyone else have a similar experience?


Mamacakes said...

Oh man, Don't tell me that about apple wine! My husband and I brew our own and we just started 5 gallons of apple wine the other night! He wants to add some spices to make it taste like apple pie, so not sure how that will turn out yet.

The Wine Whore said...

Hello Mamacakes,

I'll tell you what... if your apple wine comes out good, I'd love to try it!

Keep me posted!


Shelly said...

I'm not a fan of any dessert wines as they are just too sweet. I don't like my wine sweet, which also rules out a lot of whites.

The Wine Whore said...

Hello Shelly,

I actually like sweet wines and even Port wine but this one just struck me very off balance and hard to enjoy even for what it was. I guess it just wasn't my bag! :)


CopperBot said...

I apologize for the delay in coming back with the name of that Cherry wine I mentioned. Here it is:

Carlson Vineyards - Cherry Wine


Now, I'm no wine connoisseur by any means so I make no promises as to whether or not others reading this post will enjoy this. All I know is that the small glass I sampled, coupled with the dark chocolate they were serving with the samples was pretty delicious.

The Wine Whore said...

Thank you CopperBot for taking the time to post the name of the Cherry Wine!

I really like chocolate covered cherries.... this sounds like one I may enjoy! Don't worry, if I don't like it, I won't blame you! :)


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