8/30/2009

The Shocking Secret Life of a Wine Whore

Posted by The Wine Whore |


I'd like to thank everyone for their positive feedback on yesterday's introduction. This whole process is very liberating for me and also a little scary at the same time. Sharing your life in print is a strange feeling. For me, there is a little voice in my head which tries to sensor the personal or unacceptable thoughts. From now on, I am telling that voice to shut the hell up. This is going to be real, at times shocking, and 100% true. Buckle up!

Today�s shocking secret is sure to make people hate me...



As I was saying yesterday, I became a Wine Whore to satisfy my palate's thirst for wine. I had no idea where it would take me. Although I hoped that wineries would want to be associated with a whore like myself, I never thought people would actually send ME free wine.

My affairs started off slow and dirty. A few bottles here and there, half a case of Barefoot wine� it all felt so dirty yet exciting at the same time. Word about my affairs spread like a bad case of herpes. It didn't take long before things got out of control.



My clientele quickly climbed. The bottles lined up waiting for me to enjoy them: a challenge for my liver equivalent to climbing Mount Everest or the Himalayas. In this whore�s opinion, it is unacceptable to spit out of throw out a bottle of wine, especially if you got it for free. Throwing away perfectly good wine just seems wasteful. My daily routine is to come home from work, choose the lucky bottle, and crack in to the night's affair. My wife often joins us unless she finds the bottle of wine unattractive to her palate or she just isn't in the mood.



Everything started off great. With cases of free wine arriving weekly, the daily affairs brought new experiences to my palate. I didn't realize is that there is a huge burden that goes along with being a Wine Whore. The luxury of free wine comes with an even bigger price tag. Once you receive samples, you begin to get pressured into trying the wine. With so many customers to satisfy, it's hard to make everyone happy at the same time. Unless you are willing to sacrifice on quality, it is impossible to review them all at the same time. You also find that once you become a Wine Whore, people begin to think that you give out wine for free. I am more than happy to enjoy wine in the company of others, or maybe even exchange a bottle for a favor or two, but that doesn't mean I am just going to hand the stuff out for free. What kind of respectable whore do you think I am?

So here's the shocking secret of being a Wine Whore: Satisfying the demands of free wine can be a huge pain in the ass... but you have to accept it as part of the job.



Just to give you an idea of how bad it's gotten, here's a list of clients lined up and waiting for my service right now:

  • Bluenose Dry Creek Valley California Zinfandel 2005
  • Bluenose Sonoma County California Zinfandel 2006
  • California Cellars 41st Avenue California Chardonnay 2007
  • California Cellars 41st Avenue California Merlot 2007
  • Cinnabar Santa Cruz Mountains, California Chardonnay 2007
  • Clos La Chance Central Coast California Estate Viognier 2008
  • Clos La Chance Central Coast California Hummingbird Sauvignon Blanc 2008
  • Clos La Chance Central Coast California Hummingbird Syrah 2006
  • Clos La Chance Central Coast California Hummingbird Zinfandel 2006
  • Clos La Chance Central Coast California Lila's Cuvee Red Wine 2006
  • Collier Falls Dry Creek Sonoma Private Reserve Zinfandel 2004
  • Collier Falls Dry Creek Valley Sonoma Primitivo 2006
  • Collier Falls Hillside Estate Dry Creek Sonoma Cabernet Sauvignon 2003
  • Collier Falls Hillside Estate Dry Creek Sonoma Petite Sirah 2005
  • D'Argenzio Mendocino County California Tocai Friulano 2005
  • D'Argenzio Russian River Valley California Pinot Noir 2005
  • Fortant Skalli Family France Chardonnay Kosher 2005
  • Graffigna Centenario San Juan Argentina Cabernet Sauvignon 2006
  • Graffigna Centenario San Juan Argentina Pinot Grigio 2008
  • Graton Ridge Bacigalupi Vineyard RRV Sonoma Zinfandel 2007
  • Graton Ridge RRB Sonoma County A+ Apple Dessert Wine 2007
  • Graton Ridge RRV Sonoma County Pinot Noir 2006
  • Grgich Hills Estate Grown Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon 2005
  • Harvest Moon Russian River Valley Sparkling Zinfandel 2007
  • Hawkes Alexander Valley Cabernet Sauvignon 2004
  • Hazard Hill Western Australia Shiraz 2006
  • J. Keverson Mendocino California Janes Vineyard Sangiovese 2006
  • J. Keverson Russian River Valley California Labyrinth Vineyard Pinot Noir 2006
  • Jacob's Creek Reserve South Austrlia Cabernet Sauvignon 2005
  • Jacob's Creek Reserve South Eastern Austrlia Pinot Noir 2006
  • Jacuzzi Family Vineyards Barbera Mendocino County, CA 2007
  • Jacuzzi Family Vineyards Pinot Noir Sonoma County, CA 2007
  • Jacuzzi Family Vineyards Rosso di Sette Fratelli Estate Merlot Carneros 2006
  • Jacuzzi Family Vineyards Sangiovese Sonoma County 2006
  • Jacuzzi Family Vineyards Valeriano Estate Carneros 2005
  • Joel Gott 815 California Cabernet 2007
  • Kilikanoon Killerman's Run South Australia Shiraz 2007
  • Kim Crawford East Coast Pinot Grigio 2008
  • Kim Crawford Marlborough Dry Riesling 2008
  • Kim Crawford New Zealand Unoaked Chardonay 2008
  • Krutz Anderson Valley Pinot Noir 2006
  • Krutz Sleepy Hollow Vineyard Santa Lucia Highlands Chardonnay 2006
  • Krutz Stagecoach Vineyard Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon 2005
  • Matthiasson Napa Valley Red Wine 2005
  • Matthiasson Napa Valley White Wine 2007
  • Murdoch James Martinborough Blue Rock Pinot Noir 2007
  • Murdoch James Martinborough Blue Rock Riesling 2008
  • Murdoch James Martinborough Saleyards Syrah 2006
  • Murdoch James Martinborough Wairarapa Pinot Gris 2008
  • Murdoch James Martinborough Wairarapa Sauvignon Blanc 2008
  • Optima Alexander Valley California Cabernet Sauvignon 2004
  • Optima Dry Creek Valley Sonoma Unfiltered Zinfandel 2005
  • Optima Dry Creek Valley Sonoma Zinfandel Port 2005
  • Parducci California Pinot Noir 2007
  • Parducci Mendocino County California Chardonnay 2007
  • Parducci Sustainable Red Mendocino County California Red Wine 2005
  • Penley Estate Phoenix Coonawarra, South Australia Cabernet Sauvignon 2007
  • Raymond Burr Sonoma California Cabernet Franc 2006
  • Raymond Burr Sonoma California Cabernet Sauvignon 2006
  • Raymond Burr Sonoma California Chardonnay 2007
  • Robert Mondavi Winery Napa Valley Chardonnay 2006
  • Shoofly Australian Shiraz 2007
  • Sojourn Sangiacomo Vineyard Sonoma Coast Pinot Noir 2007
  • Sonoma Creek Dry Creek Valley Sonoma Cabernet Merlot 2006
  • Sonoma Creek Sonoma County Chardonnay 2006
  • Stryker Sonoma Monte Rosso Vineyard Sonoma Cabernet Sauvignon 2003
  • Stryker Sonoma Rockpile Vineyard Rockpile Petit Verdot 2005
  • The Wait Mendoza Cabernet Sauvignon 2007
  • The Wait Mendoza Malbec 2007
  • Thumbprint Cellars Alexander Valley four play 2006
  • Thumbprint Cellars Dry Creek Valley three some 2006
  • Thumbprint Cellars Sonoma County climax 2005
  • Toquade Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc 2008
  • Torbreck Barossa Valley Australia Cuv�e Juveniles 2008
  • Truchard Vineyards Carneros Napa Valley Pinot Noir 2006
  • Truett Hurst Dry Creek Valley Sonoma Old Vine Red Rooster Zinfandel 2006
  • Truett Hurst Sonoma County Black Sheep Pinot Noir 2007
  • Veramonte Reserva Casablanca Valley Pinot Noir 2007
  • X Winery California Red X 2006
  • X Winery California X3 Cabernet 2006
  • X Winery California X3 Cabernet 2007
  • Zonte's Footstep Langhorne Creek, Australia Shiraz Viognier 2007
  • Tango Real Argentina Gran Reserva Malbec 2005
  • Napa Cellars Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon 2006
  • Naked Winery Oregon Pinot Noir 2007
  • Chalk Hill Sonoma Merlot 2006
  • Chalk Hill Russian River Valley Sauvignon Blanc 2007


Anyone out there want to help me with my affairs?

I'd love to meet up at a public location and share some vino, good conversation, and make some new friends. For those of you in Tampa, let�s setup a tryst. I've added a new group for people in Tampa or nearby to schedule a chance to meet up. For those of you who aren't in Tampa, you aren't left out. Create a group for your local city to find other winos in your area. Who knows, I may be in your city and looking to have some fun.


We are all out of time for today�s session. Tomorrow, I'll reveal the MOST difficult position I have ever been put in. In the meantime, if you love wine, take a second to introduce yourself and share the memory of your first affair with vino with others who have the same passion here.




(This message brought to you by The Wine Whore)

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10 comments:

Shelly said...

Holy Cow that is quite the list you have waiting you. You know you are always welcome to drop in on one of our Girl's Night's In.

The Wine Whore said...

I would love to! It looks like you girls have a blast! I have been thinking about a road trip....

Cheers!

Matt said...

That is one impressive list, I wish I was getting those kinds of numbers of free wine for my site lol. Well if you ever in central Virginia you are welcome to come and help me an my friends with polishing off a bottle.

The Wine Whore said...

It seems like there are a lot of cool wine lovers in VA... not too far from me. I probably could make it up there in one long day of driving. I am thinking it's time for a road trip! :)

Cheers!

Matt said...

well its only 13-15 hours depending on how fast you drive, I think.

The Wine Whore said...

What's the best time of the year to visit?

corkdork said...

Having had both of the Graffigna wines, don't delay on them; they're quite good.

The Wine Whore said...

I have tried a Graffigna wine and really enjoyed it... if you say these two are good, I'll have to move 'em up in priority!

Cheers!

Matt said...

to me falls best around here, great temperatures and the wineries are harvesting so generally a lot of festivals going on at them.

The Wine Whore said...

That's right around the corner! I'll have to make some travel plans... and fast! :)

Cheers!

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