Official Announcement of Awesomeness

Posted by The Wine Whore |

Wine Whore Review

I have been called a lot of things. Jealous critics have attempted to rile my fans while others strive to discredit my reviews by simply saying that I don't trash enough wines. I have even been told by a PR rep in the wine industry that I am "ballsy".

Today, the haters and critics are about to be silenced once and for all. I am proud to announce that the Global Association of Awesomeness has awarded me the title of "Most Awesome Wino in the World". Well actually, I allowed them to give me the title, but who's counting.

Check out the press release:


Wine Whore Announced as Most Awesome Wino in the World

Tampa, FL, August 24, 2009--(PR.com)-- In a press conference held by the Global Association of Awesomeness, it was announced that the title of "Most Awesome Wino in the World" has been given to Randy Watson otherwise known as The Wine Whore. According to sources present at the conference, Watson gladly allowed the Association to bestow the awesome title which he was honored to accept. When asked what he would do to celebrate his achievement he stated that �nothing has changed, except for the fact that awesome just got cooler.�

So what exactly qualifies me as the "Most Awesome Wino in the World"?

Clearly you know nothing about wine and being awesome if you have to ask, but in any case, here are just a few of the infinite reasons why:

  • Instead of Listerine, I use Latour.
  • I can age a bottle of wine before it's even bottled.
  • I don't smell a glass of wine, I tell it how to smell.
  • I actually turned Parker on to wine.
  • I don't sleep, I just take small breaks between bottles.
  • I don't get hangovers... ever! (okay, maybe sometimes)
  • I sued the famous wine magazine over the original title of Wine Whore Spectator.
  • If you have five bottles and I have five bottles, I still have more wine than you.
  • There are actually two people who can turn water into wine.

...and the number one reason why W2 is the Most Awesome Wino in the World:
  • I absolutely love sharing a glass of wine with good friends, and family.

Special thank you to all of the wine lovers who have helped this title earn my presence. I look forward to much more awesomeness in the future... or should I say, the future looks forward to my awesomeness.


... oh yeah, and to all of the critics out there who think that you have to be an a-hole in order to really enjoy a glass of wine: suck it!

(Read more wine reviews and info at The Wine Whore)

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Matt Parnell said...

gotta say, love your closing statement there (my sentiments exactly, wines supposed to be fun not mean). keep up the awesomeness man

The Wine Whore said...

Thank you Matt!

I think it's about time that people realize what wine is really about. From now on, this site will be dedicated to tearing down these walls and going back to what is really important. To me, that's what makes wine so awesome!

To those who don't like that, well... you know! :)


Anonymous said...

Great post.

Please go back to your advertorials that we can ignore. Thanks.

The Wine Whore said...

Thank you Anonymous!

No more "advertorials" here! In fact, I'd love to do a review of your awesome site... that is, if you would be so kind as to reveal your true identity.


Anonymous said...

Whore, I don't actually have a blog, but I'm an avid wine blog reader.

Sorry to disappoint.

Joeshico said...

Makes one wonder why anyone wouldn't like what you are doing. Nice post "Your Awesomeness"

Shelly said...

Yay! Congrats! Now we really have something to celebrate on Thursday. Make sure to bring that award with you for all of us to see:)

Nathan Bonilla-Warford, OD said...

Awesome post! Congrats! This award couldn't go to a nicer Wine Whore. You rock! BTW, Can you put in a good word for me to the GAA? :)

The Wine Whore said...

Nate and Shelly- You both deserve awards from the GAA for being so awesome... you both ROCK! :)


Jennifer said...

My kids can turn water into Whine!

The Wine Whore said...

I was going to say that is pretty awesome, but then I realized that you would probably disagree. :)


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